Tuggerah Lake South Uniting Church

Growing through Outreach to our Community as a Whole

News::

AGM 19th November 2.00 p.m.::  Tumbi Umbi

Tuesday 28th November:: Adult Fellowship 10.30 a.m. followed by Church lunch at "The Grange", Wyoming

The Drop-in Centre at The Entrance-Long Jetty opens each Tuesday 10am – 2pm with a sausage sizzle from 12pm until 1pm. Come along and enjoy a chat and a coffee or tea.  At no cost.
The Long Jetty Meeting Place Community Development Worker, Nicolle, will be available to discuss any lifestyle issues you are experiencing. Everyone is invited to join us.  Volunteering and enquiries: Contact Lyn  0422 070 723

Tumbi Umbi::  Tuesday 5th December 10 am: Fellowship Christmas Celebration. Members please bring Christmas food for lunch, and a wrapped gift (approx. value $5)

Ourimbah:: Tuesday 28th November Fellowship/Church Christmas Lu  hall 8.00 a.m.

Tuesday 21st November 2.15 pm Fellowship Meeting in the Fellowship Room at the Church.

Long Jetty:: Wednesday 15th, 29th November & 6th December at Diggers, Long Jetty.

The Men’s' Group next meeting will be on Tuesday 14th november at about 8.30am.  We can always use some more hands. As usual there will be  fresh brewed coffee and time for a yarn.
Contact Bruce Pyke on 4333 4353

Tumbi Umbi Op-tique::  Every Wednesday 9am to 4pm. Grab a bargain then enjoy a cuppa and cake, or have lunch. We offer a friendly non-threatening atmosphere where people are able to come, mingle and enjoy each others company and in so doing we are reaching out into the community to help those in need. Donation of your unwanted goods most welcome (nil electrical goods or large furniture  Ros Bonnefin 0403965622 Lyn Nelson 0418232238

Long Jetty's sausage sizzle is moving to Tuesdays from 12 to 1pm and is now part of the Drop - In  Centre.  We welcome volunteers to help cook, serve, listen and chat.. Enjoy a sausage sandwich or two.

Please contact Alison  Roper on 0405876670 email address:alroper3@gmail.com

Wrap with Love:: Our next meeting is on Friday December 1st In the Church Hall at 1.30pm. Come and join us to knit or sew or just for a "natter" and a cuppa. After this meeting we will take a break over the Christmas/New Year period and get back to work on Friday February 02. For more info, call Bruce Pyke on 4333 4353.

Church Friends Lunch:: 2nd Sunday each month,  The next lunch will be at Diggers on 12th November at 12 noon...members of all 3 congregations welcome . Lifts home for Bateau Bay residents without transport.

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What If

What if?

One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck w"anymore". No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "jthe most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say"I love you."

So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marricards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because w

Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There armatter what.

Life is important, like people we know who are special.. And so, we keep them close!

The Christian holiday of Pentecost

 

The Christian holiday of Pentecost (Ancient Greek: Πεντηκοστή [ἡμέρα], Pentēkostē [hēmera], "[the] fiftieth [day]") is celebrated 50 (101-51) days from Easter Sunday, counting inclusive of Easter Sunday itself, i. e. 49 days or 7 weeks after Easter Sunday.[1][2] Therefore it always occurs on a Sunday. It is also the tenth day after Ascension Thursday, which itself is 40 days from Easter, counting inclusive of Easter Sunday itself.

The Christian Pentecost is based on the New Testament, where it refers to the descent of the Holy Spirit upon the Apostles and other followers of Jesus Christ, as described in the Acts of the Apostles 2:1–31. According to Luke 22:12–13, the descent of the Holy Spirit occurred while the Apostles were celebrating the Jewish day of Shavuot (Hebrew: שבועות‎‎, lit. "Weeks"), the Feast of Weeks, a prominent feast in the calendar of ancient Israel celebrating the giving of the Law to Moses at Sinai. Subsequently, "Pentecost" may refer to the Pentecost of the New Testament and Shavuot of the Old Testament. Shavuot is a significant event shared by Jews and Christians but Christians do not commonly celebrate it as a separate holiday.

In the Christian liturgical year it became a feast commemorating what is described by some Christians as the "Birthday of the Church".[3]

The holy day is also called "White Sunday" or "Whitsunday", especially in the United Kingdom, where traditionally the next day, Whit Monday, was also a public holiday. In Eastern Christianity, Pentecost can also refer to the entire fifty days of Easter through Pentecost inclusive; hence the book containing the liturgical texts for Paschaltide is called the "Pentecostarion".

In Germany Pentecost is denominated "Pfingsten" and often coincides with scholastic holidays and the beginning of many outdoor and springtime activities, such as festivals and organized outdoor activities by youth organizations. The Monday after Pentecost is a legal holiday in many European nations.

...fromWikipedia

 

 

A Week Without God

A Week Without God

One week without God would be:
Sinday  Mournday Tearsday  Wasteday  Thirstday  Fightday  Shatterday and seven days without God makes one weak!

Submitted by Bruce Rickard

JOTTINGS

 

JOTTINGS FROM HERE AND THERE

I like the story of the small boy whose mother asked him if he had thanked his hostess when leaving after a party.  “Well, no” he replied.  “The girl in front of me did and the lady said, “Don’t mention it, so I thought I’d better not”.


Did you hear about the Sunday school teacher who talked to her class about “repentance”?  When summing up, she asked what was the first essential before we could expect forgiveness.
A little boy’s hand shot up.  “Please, Miss – we must sin!”


A business man who suffered from insomnia was asking a friend how he managed to sleep so soundly every night.  “Do you count sheep?” he asked.  
“No,” came the reply.  “I just talk to the shepherd”.


A friend sent me this item from his church magazine.  At the top of the page was a small blank square, outlined in black, followed by these instructions.
Breathe on this square, then,
1.     If it turns red, see your bank manager.
2.     If it turns blue, see your solicitor.
3.     If it turns green, see your doctor.
4.     If it turns yellow, see your optician.
5.     If it does not change colour, you are perfectly healthy and there is no reason for you not to be in church next Sunday!
                    
Francis Gay

 

 

QUOTES FROM SOME FAMOUS CHRISTIANS


From C.S. Lewis:
“The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good but that God will make us good because he loves us.”

From Marcus Borg:
“The Christian life is not about pleasing God the finger-shaker and judge. It is not about believing now or being good now for the sake of heaven later. It is about entering a relationship in the present that begins to change everything now. Spirituality is about this process. : the opening of the heart to the God who is already here.”

From John Wesley:
“Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.”

From  John Dominic Crossan:
“My point is, not just that those ancient people told literal stories and we are now smart enough to take them symbolically, but that they told them symbolically and we are now dumb enough to take them literally.”

 

 

Word scrambling

 

The person who worked these up, by rearranging the letters,
must have been deadly at Scrabble!


Presbyterian -  Best at Prayer
Astronomer  -  Moon starer
Desperation  -  A rope ends it
The Eyes  -  They see
George Bush  -  He bugs Gore
Dormitory  -  Dirty room
Election results  -  Lies, lets recount
Eleven plus two  -  Twelve plus one
Snooze alarms  -  Alas! no more Z's
Mother-in-law  -  Woman Hitler

Submitted by Bruce Pyke

 

 

Day of Pentecost

When the day of Pentecost arrived
they were all together in one place
and they were filled with the Holy Spirit.

Receive the Holy Spirit;
  like a rushing, cleansing wind
  like tongues of flame upon you

Receive the Holy Spirit;
  individuals joined as one body
              friend and alien, slave and free.

Receive the Holy Spirit;
  the breath of the risen Christ
  peace and forgiveness to be shared.

I will sing to God as long as I live.
I will sing praise to God while I have being


Used with permission of the author, Bruce Prewer.

 

 

A MOTHER’S DAY PRAYER

 

A MOTHER’S DAY PRAYER

 

ÓUR FATHER IN HEAVEN
whose love is divine,
Thanks for the love
of a Mother like mine –
And in Thy great mercy
look down from Above
And grant this dear Mother
the GIFT OF YOUR LOVE –
And all through the year,
whatever betide her.
Assure her each day
that You are beside her-
And, Father in Heaven,
show me the way
To lighten her tasks
and brighten her day,
And bless her dear heart
with the insight to see
That her love means more
Than the world to me!”

 

Helen Steiner Rice

WEATHER REPORT

WEATHER REPORT

 

When you stop to think about it,
    It’s a fact that can amaze –
Your face is like the weather
   In so many little ways…

You can be a ray of sunshine
   With an ever-present smile,
A look that’s cold and frosty
   Can put Winter on your dial.

A deep depression is imminent
   With traces of a frown.
A grin that spreads from East to West
   By thunder earns renown.

Your face is like the weather,
   And it’s often up to you
To demonstrate your preference
   For skies of grey – or blue.


                    J.M. Robertson.

WORDPLAY JOKES

 

7  WACKY  WORDPLAY  JOKES


Q: How do astronomers organise a party?
A: They planet.

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A: It’s OK. He woke up.

Q: Does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
A: Yes. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

Q:What  do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

Q:What  is Mozart doing right now?
A: Decomposing.

Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because so many kings and queens have reigned there.

 

 

 

THEM AND US ON A BUS


There once was a time – and quite recently too,
When I’d spot in the traffic, a bus coming through;
     ‘Twould be loaded with old folk going out for the day,
The heads at the windows bald, silver and grey.
     And I’d feel quite a pang for those old, past their prime,
I thought “did they do this to fill in their time?”
     They looked quite inert, staring out from their seats
Being taken en-masse for interesting treats.
     And where were they heading?  I wanted to know.
Could it be to the city for lunch and a show?
     Now, if ‘twas a film, then what would they choose?
Perhaps the “Sound of Music,” where they’d have a good snooze
     And wake up refreshed and go on their way
     Telling themselves they’d had a GREAT day.

Now, the tables have turned – and I’m on that trip;
     But OUR crowd is so different – we’re really quite hip.
Not for us to stare dourly out at the view;
     We laugh and we joke;
We’re young, through and through.
     But I sometimes do wonder, sitting up there so high,
Do young ones look up as OUR bus goes by
     And think to themselves how old WE all look,
How pathetically sad and desperately crook?
      But we are exceptional, and ever so clever,
     Retired we are; but growing old – NEVER!!!

                    Anon (with permission)

Food for the Journey

 

A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire engine zoomed past.  Sitting in the front seat was a Dalmatian dog.  The children started discussing the dog’s duties.  “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child.  “No,” said another.  “He’s just for good luck.”  A third child brought the argument to a close.  “They use the dogs, she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.”

A 6 year old was asked where his grandma lived.  “Oh,” he said, “she lives at the airport, and when we want her we just go get her.  Then, when we’re done with her visit, we take her back to the airport.”

I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so I decided to test her.  I would point out something and ask her what colour it was.  She would tell me and was always correct.  It was fun  for me, so I continued.  At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!”
       

 From “Food for the Journey"

METHUSELAH

 

METHUSELAH

 

Methuselah ate what he found on his plate
And never, as people do now,
Did he note the amount of the calorie count…
He ate because it was chow.
He was never disturbed, as at dinner
He sat destroying a pie,
To think it was lacking in granular fat
Or a couple of vitamins shy.
He cheerfully chewed every morsel of food,
Untroubled by worries or fears,
Lest his health might be hurt by some fancy dessert…
And, he lived over 900 years.

A Smile...

 

A Smile costs nothing, but gives much.

It enriches those who receive it,

without making poorer those who give it.

It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it,

and no one is so poor, but that they can be made rich by it.

A Smile creates happiness in the home,

fosters good will in business, and is the countersign of friendship.

It brings rest to the weary, cheerfulness to the discouraged,

sunshine to the sad,

and it is nature’s best antidote for trouble.

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen,

for it is something that is of no value to anyone,

unless it is given away.

Some people are too tired to give you a smile;

Give them one of yours,

as no one needs a smile so much as those who have no more to give.

 

ANON

 

The Church Today

 

One hundred years ago or less, people went to church, where they were told how to conduct their lives.

Today we watch television; it is our new life guru.

Where every house once had a Bible, there is now a television.

For many of us in the Western world, life is good, at least in term of basics.

We have plenty of food, money for luxuries, access to information and enough time to enjoy ourselves.

We don’t feel the need for the church as a social centre anymore.

We have a new religion.

Consumerism.

Supermarkets are the new cathedrals.

Extract from “God explained in a taxi ride”, by Paul Arden.

Kneeling to the Lord

 


“I AM Too blessed to be stressed!” 
The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor.

The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything. 

Love and peace be with you forever. 

Amen

Author unknown

Submitted by Robert Ellis

Poem

 

A friend sent me this item from her church magazine. 
At the top of the page was a small blank square, outlined in black, followed by these instructions:-    

Breathe on the square, then -

1.      If it turns red, see your bank manager.

2.     If it turns blue, see your solicitor.

3.     If it turns green, see your doctor.

4.     If it turns yellow, see your optician.

5.     If it does not change colour, you are perfectly healthy, and there is no reason for you not to turn up to church next Sunday.



Submitted by Margaret Ellis

SIMPLE LITTLE TWO LINERS

 

SIMPLE LITTLE TWO LINERS

 

Free advice is like being kissed on the forehead. 
It doesn’t hurt, but it doesn’t do too much for you either.

Drive carefully. 
Remember it’s not only a car that can be recalled by its maker.

People who tell you never to let little things bother you have never tried sleeping in a room with a mosquito.